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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-23-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, January 23, 2026 at 8:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ⏱️ VIOLENCE PENDING
Crystalized Entropy

Crystalized Entropy

Strength100
Speed21
Endurance104
Technique102
Molecular Density11.2
Existential Dread92
Fingers13
Toes13
TALE OF THE TAPE
Crystalized Entropy VS Tahini Poinsettia
Tahini Poinsettia

Tahini Poinsettia

70Strength
85Speed
75Endurance
88Technique
2.3Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
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