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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-23-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, January 23, 2026 at 8:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ⏱️ VIOLENCE PENDING
Geologic Time

Geologic Time

Strength101
Speed14
Endurance104
Technique103
Molecular Density10.8
Existential Dread94
Fingers15
Toes15
TALE OF THE TAPE
Geologic Time VS Troll King Tommy
Troll King Tommy

Troll King Tommy

70Strength
90Speed
65Endurance
90Technique
1.5Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
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