TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-11-25
APPROVED
Lance Bass
Strength45
Speed70
Endurance60
Technique80
Molecular Density1.3
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Lance Bass VS Anxiety Duck
Anxiety Duck
37Strength
96Speed
57Endurance
82Technique
0.8Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
2Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Lance Bass
Violence concluded.
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