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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-12-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, August 12, 2025 at 1:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Grollis Zephyr

Grollis Zephyr

Strength75
Speed90
Endurance65
Technique88
Molecular Density0.9
Existential Dread70
Fingers14
Toes6
TALE OF THE TAPE
Grollis Zephyr VS Spandex Nightmare
Spandex Nightmare

Spandex Nightmare

75Strength
90Speed
78Endurance
92Technique
2.9Molecular Density
50Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Spandex Nightmare
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule