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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-12-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, August 12, 2025 at 11:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Booger McGillicuddy

Booger McGillicuddy

Strength45
Speed55
Endurance50
Technique60
Molecular Density1.2
Existential Dread85
Fingers7
Toes13
TALE OF THE TAPE
Booger McGillicuddy VS Wheelchair Willie "No Mercy"
Wheelchair Willie "No Mercy"

Wheelchair Willie "No Mercy"

60Strength
85Speed
75Endurance
90Technique
1.8Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
7Fingers
11Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Booger McGillicuddy
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule