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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-13-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, August 13, 2025 at 2:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Coaching Course Carol

Coaching Course Carol

Strength55
Speed80
Endurance80
Technique95
Molecular Density1.9
Existential Dread80
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Coaching Course Carol VS Brisket Friendo
Brisket Friendo

Brisket Friendo

85Strength
65Speed
80Endurance
75Technique
2.8Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Brisket Friendo
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule