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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-13-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, August 13, 2025 at 3:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Karen of the Comments

Karen of the Comments

Strength60
Speed75
Endurance80
Technique92
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread88
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Karen of the Comments VS Verne Troyer
Verne Troyer

Verne Troyer

35Strength
70Speed
60Endurance
85Technique
1.1Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
8Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Karen of the Comments
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule