TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-21-25
APPROVED
Line Number Linda
Strength50
Speed30
Endurance100
Technique95
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread98
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Line Number Linda VS James Hetfield
James Hetfield
90Strength
75Speed
95Endurance
85Technique
3.8Molecular Density
40Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
James Hetfield
Violence concluded.
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