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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-21-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, August 21, 2025 at 8:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Bigfoot Believer Brenda

Bigfoot Believer Brenda

Strength90
Speed85
Endurance80
Technique70
Molecular Density4.2
Existential Dread80
Fingers13
Toes7
TALE OF THE TAPE
Bigfoot Believer Brenda VS Anxiety Duck
Anxiety Duck

Anxiety Duck

40Strength
98Speed
60Endurance
85Technique
0.8Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
2Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Bigfoot Believer Brenda
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule