TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-21-25
APPROVED
The Submitted for Approval
Strength70
Speed95
Endurance80
Technique88
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread75
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Submitted for Approval VS Average Joe
Average Joe
75Strength
75Speed
75Endurance
75Technique
50.0Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Average Joe
Violence concluded.
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