TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-22-25
APPROVED
Comfort Gecko
Strength50
Speed90
Endurance70
Technique92
Molecular Density0.3
Existential Dread40
Fingers4
Toes4
TALE OF THE TAPE
Comfort Gecko VS Steve Irwin
Steve Irwin
80Strength
85Speed
90Endurance
88Technique
2.5Molecular Density
20Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Steve Irwin
Violence concluded.
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