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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-22-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, August 22, 2025 at 8:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Reply Guy Rick

Reply Guy Rick

Strength45
Speed85
Endurance70
Technique88
Molecular Density1.3
Existential Dread80
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Reply Guy Rick VS Ringo Starr
Ringo Starr

Ringo Starr

45Strength
70Speed
70Endurance
85Technique
1.8Molecular Density
40Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Reply Guy Rick
Violence concluded.
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