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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-22-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, August 22, 2025 at 10:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Arnold Schwarzenegger

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Strength95
Speed65
Endurance88
Technique75
Molecular Density4.2
Existential Dread10
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Arnold Schwarzenegger VS Boiling Singularity Vapors
Boiling Singularity Vapors

Boiling Singularity Vapors

120Strength
100Speed
20Endurance
60Technique
8.1Molecular Density
100Existential Dread
17Fingers
3Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Boiling Singularity Vapors
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule