TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-23-25
APPROVED
Betty White
Strength60
Speed75
Endurance100
Technique95
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread5
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Betty White VS Justin Timberlake
Justin Timberlake
65Strength
85Speed
80Endurance
92Technique
2.0Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Justin Timberlake
Violence concluded.
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