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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-25-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, August 25, 2025 at 10:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Drive-Thru Donna "Fast and Furious"

Drive-Thru Donna "Fast and Furious"

Strength70
Speed95
Endurance75
Technique80
Molecular Density2.3
Existential Dread65
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Drive-Thru Donna "Fast and Furious" VS Danny DeVito
Danny DeVito

Danny DeVito

40Strength
60Speed
70Endurance
85Technique
3.8Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
8Fingers
12Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Drive-Thru Donna "Fast and Furious"
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule