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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-26-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, August 26, 2025 at 10:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero"

Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero"

Strength80
Speed60
Endurance95
Technique88
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread55
Fingers8
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero" VS The Finger Counter
The Finger Counter

The Finger Counter

65Strength
85Speed
70Endurance
90Technique
2.7Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
23Fingers
7Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero"
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule