TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-26-25
APPROVED
Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero"
Strength80
Speed60
Endurance95
Technique88
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread55
Fingers8
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero" VS The Finger Counter
The Finger Counter
65Strength
85Speed
70Endurance
90Technique
2.7Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
23Fingers
7Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero"
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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