TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-27-25
APPROVED
Chris Kirkpatrick
Strength50
Speed75
Endurance65
Technique85
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread70
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Chris Kirkpatrick VS YouTube Yolanda "Subscribe or Die"
YouTube Yolanda "Subscribe or Die"
65Strength
85Speed
70Endurance
90Technique
1.5Molecular Density
82Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
YouTube Yolanda "Subscribe or Die"
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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