TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-27-25
APPROVED
Messy Tessie
Strength65
Speed80
Endurance60
Technique75
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread30
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Messy Tessie VS Wikipedia Rabbit Hole
Wikipedia Rabbit Hole
65Strength
75Speed
80Endurance
97Technique
1.6Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Messy Tessie
Violence concluded.
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