TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-28-25
APPROVED
Sausage Festival
Strength85
Speed68
Endurance90
Technique72
Molecular Density3.1
Existential Dread22
Fingers8
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Sausage Festival VS Brian Littrell
Brian Littrell
50Strength
75Speed
65Endurance
90Technique
1.6Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Sausage Festival
Violence concluded.
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