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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-28-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, August 28, 2025 at 6:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Chaos Windfall

Chaos Windfall

Strength72
Speed85
Endurance75
Technique85
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread90
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Chaos Windfall VS Early Bird Eddie
Early Bird Eddie

Early Bird Eddie

65Strength
90Speed
70Endurance
88Technique
1.6Molecular Density
60Existential Dread
9Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Early Bird Eddie
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule