TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-28-25
APPROVED
Trash Expander
Strength79
Speed120
Endurance50
Technique50
Molecular Density72.9
Existential Dread91
Fingers13
Toes14
TALE OF THE TAPE
Trash Expander VS Instagram Ian "Content Creator"
Instagram Ian "Content Creator"
50Strength
92Speed
60Endurance
95Technique
1.2Molecular Density
78Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Trash Expander
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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