TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-28-25
APPROVED
Shrek
Strength95
Speed51
Endurance90
Technique61
Molecular Density4.2
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Shrek VS Donny "Dirty Mouth" McBubble
Donny "Dirty Mouth" McBubble
85Strength
70Speed
80Endurance
88Technique
2.9Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Donny "Dirty Mouth" McBubble
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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