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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-29-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, August 29, 2025 at 7:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Wikipedia Rabbit Hole

Wikipedia Rabbit Hole

Strength65
Speed75
Endurance80
Technique98
Molecular Density1.6
Existential Dread90
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Wikipedia Rabbit Hole VS Snotty Scotty
Snotty Scotty

Snotty Scotty

60Strength
85Speed
55Endurance
70Technique
1.8Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Snotty Scotty
Violence concluded.
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