TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-29-25
APPROVED
The Last Two Percent
Strength98
Speed97
Endurance99
Technique100
Molecular Density0.0
Existential Dread100
Fingers2
Toes0
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Last Two Percent VS Swisher Sweet
Swisher Sweet
75Strength
75Speed
75Endurance
75Technique
28.4Molecular Density
88Existential Dread
12Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Last Two Percent
Violence concluded.
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