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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-03-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, September 3, 2025 at 1:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Boiling Singularity Vapors

Boiling Singularity Vapors

Strength136
Speed108
Endurance34
Technique72
Molecular Density8.1
Existential Dread100
Fingers17
Toes3
TALE OF THE TAPE
Boiling Singularity Vapors VS Spandex Nightmare
Spandex Nightmare

Spandex Nightmare

58Strength
79Speed
62Endurance
86Technique
2.9Molecular Density
50Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Boiling Singularity Vapors
Violence concluded.
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