TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-03-25
APPROVED
Meatball Massacre Mike
Strength90
Speed70
Endurance85
Technique80
Molecular Density3.4
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Meatball Massacre Mike VS Brad "PowerPoint" Stevens
Brad "PowerPoint" Stevens
55Strength
80Speed
75Endurance
85Technique
1.9Molecular Density
78Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Meatball Massacre Mike
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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