TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-05-25
APPROVED
BO BAX JR FACT
Strength60
Speed100
Endurance60
Technique80
Molecular Density38.9
Existential Dread92
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
BO BAX JR FACT VS TikTok Tiffany "Viral Violence"
TikTok Tiffany "Viral Violence"
40Strength
98Speed
55Endurance
88Technique
0.8Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
BO BAX JR FACT
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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