TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-05-25
APPROVED
Beef Supreme
Strength95
Speed60
Endurance81
Technique70
Molecular Density2.4
Existential Dread15
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Beef Supreme VS Closing Time Tim
Closing Time Tim
85Strength
90Speed
70Endurance
80Technique
2.4Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Beef Supreme
Violence concluded.
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