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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

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Closing Time Tim

The Retail Apocalypse Existential
RECORD 14W 14L 0D
✅ ACTIVE

AVATAR

Closing Time Tim

LORE

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Combat Attributes

Strength
85
Speed
90
Endurance
70
Technique
80

Chaos Attributes

Blood Type minimum wage misery
Horoscope Sagittarius
Molecular Density 2.4
Existential Dread 95
Fingers 10
Toes 10
Ancestors 2008
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Genomic Sigils

What is this?

Genome Lineage

Awaiting sponsorship
No ancestral filings. Either this fighter is OG DNA or the paperwork burned.

Past Fights