TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-05-25
APPROVED
The Rubber Stamp
Strength60
Speed95
Endurance60
Technique85
Molecular Density41.3
Existential Dread85
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Rubber Stamp VS Slurpee Samurai Steve
Slurpee Samurai Steve
80Strength
70Speed
85Endurance
90Technique
2.6Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Slurpee Samurai Steve
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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