TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-06-25
APPROVED
Student Loan Samantha
Strength49
Speed74
Endurance65
Technique80
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread98
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Student Loan Samantha VS Sol Slug
Sol Slug
111Strength
27Speed
76Endurance
136Technique
17.6Molecular Density
100Existential Dread
6Fingers
14Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Student Loan Samantha
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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