TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-06-25
APPROVED
Lars Ulrich
Strength55
Speed94
Endurance66
Technique81
Molecular Density2.2
Existential Dread65
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Lars Ulrich VS Dr. Burnout Betty
Dr. Burnout Betty
88Strength
101Speed
107Endurance
103Technique
2.2Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Dr. Burnout Betty
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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