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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-12-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, September 12, 2025 at 1:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Frozen Screen Frank

Frozen Screen Frank

Strength70
Speed40
Endurance90
Technique92
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread88
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Frozen Screen Frank VS Chris Kirkpatrick
Chris Kirkpatrick

Chris Kirkpatrick

50Strength
75Speed
65Endurance
85Technique
1.5Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Frozen Screen Frank
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule