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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-12-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, September 12, 2025 at 4:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Verne Troyer

Verne Troyer

Strength35
Speed70
Endurance60
Technique85
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread55
Fingers8
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Verne Troyer VS Fresh Rodriguez
Fresh Rodriguez

Fresh Rodriguez

75Strength
90Speed
70Endurance
95Technique
2.1Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Fresh Rodriguez
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule