TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-12-25
APPROVED
Glizzy Goblin
Strength75
Speed71
Endurance95
Technique80
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread78
Fingers6
Toes14
TALE OF THE TAPE
Glizzy Goblin VS Slurpee Samurai Steve
Slurpee Samurai Steve
80Strength
70Speed
85Endurance
90Technique
2.6Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Slurpee Samurai Steve
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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