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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-13-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, September 13, 2025 at 1:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Dean of Discipline

Dean of Discipline

Strength85
Speed65
Endurance95
Technique90
Molecular Density3.1
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Dean of Discipline VS Baiten Switch
Baiten Switch

Baiten Switch

40Strength
75Speed
75Endurance
110Technique
5.8Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
0Fingers
25Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Dean of Discipline
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule