TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-13-25
APPROVED
HOA President Peterson
Strength80
Speed60
Endurance95
Technique85
Molecular Density3.1
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
HOA President Peterson VS Booger McGillicuddy
Booger McGillicuddy
45Strength
55Speed
50Endurance
60Technique
1.2Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
7Fingers
13Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
HOA President Peterson
Violence concluded.
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