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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-18-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, September 18, 2025 at 3:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Manager Summoner Mike

Manager Summoner Mike

Strength70
Speed80
Endurance85
Technique95
Molecular Density2.6
Existential Dread85
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Manager Summoner Mike VS Karen "Compliance" Thompson
Karen "Compliance" Thompson

Karen "Compliance" Thompson

65Strength
70Speed
80Endurance
95Technique
2.1Molecular Density
88Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Karen "Compliance" Thompson
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule