TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-18-25
APPROVED
Lars Ulrich
Strength60
Speed95
Endurance70
Technique90
Molecular Density2.2
Existential Dread65
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Lars Ulrich VS War Machine
War Machine
85Strength
70Speed
80Endurance
60Technique
2.8Molecular Density
10Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Lars Ulrich
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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