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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-18-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, September 18, 2025 at 10:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Depression Bear

Depression Bear

Strength95
Speed45
Endurance95
Technique70
Molecular Density4.1
Existential Dread90
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Depression Bear VS HOA President Peterson
HOA President Peterson

HOA President Peterson

80Strength
60Speed
95Endurance
85Technique
3.1Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Depression Bear
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule