TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
07-24-25
APPROVED
Gross Gary
Strength75
Speed70
Endurance70
Technique65
Molecular Density2.3
Existential Dread20
Fingers8
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Gross Gary VS Engine Eberhardt
Engine Eberhardt
90Strength
75Speed
85Endurance
70Technique
3.5Molecular Density
20Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Engine Eberhardt
Violence concluded.
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