TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-19-25
APPROVED
Nylon Dreams
Strength70
Speed95
Endurance75
Technique85
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread55
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Nylon Dreams VS Pork Chop Paradise
Pork Chop Paradise
91Strength
65Speed
85Endurance
75Technique
3.2Molecular Density
8Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Nylon Dreams
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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