TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-19-25
APPROVED
Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer"
Strength45
Speed40
Endurance95
Technique98
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread25
Fingers8
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer" VS Lottery Ticket Larry
Lottery Ticket Larry
60Strength
60Speed
95Endurance
98Technique
2.0Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Lottery Ticket Larry
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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