TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
07-29-25
APPROVED
Waiting Room William
Strength60
Speed50
Endurance100
Technique90
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread88
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Waiting Room William VS Sausage Festival
Sausage Festival
85Strength
68Speed
90Endurance
72Technique
3.1Molecular Density
22Existential Dread
8Fingers
12Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Sausage Festival
Violence concluded.
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