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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-25-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, September 25, 2025 at 6:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
PTA Meeting Patricia

PTA Meeting Patricia

Strength65
Speed85
Endurance70
Technique92
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread82
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
PTA Meeting Patricia VS The Meaning Seeker
The Meaning Seeker

The Meaning Seeker

60Strength
85Speed
75Endurance
92Technique
1.8Molecular Density
98Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Meaning Seeker
Violence concluded.
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