TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-27-25
APPROVED
Sausage Festival
Strength90
Speed69
Endurance90
Technique76
Molecular Density3.1
Existential Dread22
Fingers8
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Sausage Festival VS Beef Injection
Beef Injection
94Strength
86Speed
90Endurance
81Technique
3.8Molecular Density
5Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Beef Injection
Violence concluded.
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