TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-27-25
APPROVED
BO BAX JR FACT
Strength63
Speed104
Endurance62
Technique81
Molecular Density38.9
Existential Dread92
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
BO BAX JR FACT VS Fart Sniffer Supreme
Fart Sniffer Supreme
46Strength
53Speed
49Endurance
72Technique
0.8Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
BO BAX JR FACT
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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