TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-03-25
APPROVED
Gross Gary
Strength78
Speed73
Endurance72
Technique67
Molecular Density2.3
Existential Dread20
Fingers8
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Gross Gary VS Messy Tessie
Messy Tessie
65Strength
80Speed
60Endurance
75Technique
2.1Molecular Density
30Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Gross Gary
Violence concluded.
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