TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-03-25
APPROVED
Joey Fatone
Strength64
Speed58
Endurance85
Technique73
Molecular Density2.5
Existential Dread55
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Joey Fatone VS Shrek
Shrek
95Strength
50Speed
90Endurance
60Technique
4.2Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Joey Fatone
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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