TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-06-25
APPROVED
Professor Punches
Strength84
Speed77
Endurance87
Technique97
Molecular Density3.1
Existential Dread40
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Professor Punches VS Dr. Burnout Betty
Dr. Burnout Betty
70Strength
85Speed
95Endurance
92Technique
2.2Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Professor Punches
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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